At Home with the Slaggs Summer Special

Our hero is complaining - again!

 Oh dear, whatever could have happened?

 "I'll tell you what's happened!  Mrs Slagg has become broody and adopted a load of Rumanian orphans!"

 "This time she's gone too far!  I'm orf (with the tortoise!)"

Oh no, Mr Slagg, please come back!





But our man was determined:

 He went to stay with his daughter and maid of all work, Mary.  But she had a right Cob-On!
"I 'ate fucking tortoises, me"

 Not only that, but her sumptuous bathroom-
cum-guest/second bog, had been reduced considerably. 

Simply because the Lady of the house's dippy cousin was coming to stay, and they had to make up a spare bedroom!  

 However, it was an ill wind and all that.  Mr Slagg could enjoy this new guest room for a couple of weeks while cousin Daphne was at Boot Camp with Simon Cowell



However, the dream soon went sour:

 Much as Mrs Slagg loved her orphans, it was lonely being a single parent.  She took comfort in Mary, who loved them too.  Reminding her of her own kids (now in a Borstal)

 And Mr Slagg felt forlorn in that spacious but loveless spare room.  There was only Lord Posh's chimp for company.

So that evening, Mr and Mrs Slagg had a private meeting in their bog.  
Neither admitting how warm and safe they felt back together again.

After a long night, they came to an agreement:

Mary could keep the little buggers in the spare room, and adopt them!

"Whey-hey!", Mr Slagg rejoiced, "That's sorted!  Now orf to Jaywick-on-Sea for a week's holiday!" (With the tortoise)!  

Have a great summer holiday!  Look out for us in September!