Our hero is complaining - again!
Oh dear, whatever could have happened?
"I'll tell you what's happened! Mrs Slagg has become broody and adopted a load of Rumanian orphans!"
"This time she's gone too far! I'm orf (with the tortoise!)"
Oh no, Mr Slagg, please come back!
But our man was determined:
He went to stay with his daughter and maid of all work, Mary. But she had a right Cob-On!
"I 'ate fucking tortoises, me"
Not only that, but her sumptuous bathroom-
cum-guest/second bog, had been reduced considerably.
Simply because the Lady of the house's dippy cousin was coming to stay, and they had to make up a spare bedroom!
However, it was an ill wind and all that. Mr Slagg could enjoy this new guest room for a couple of weeks while cousin Daphne was at Boot Camp with Simon Cowell
However, the dream soon went sour:
Much as Mrs Slagg loved her orphans, it was lonely being a single parent. She took comfort in Mary, who loved them too. Reminding her of her own kids (now in a Borstal)
And Mr Slagg felt forlorn in that spacious but loveless spare room. There was only Lord Posh's chimp for company.
So that evening, Mr and Mrs Slagg had a private meeting in their bog.
Neither admitting how warm and safe they felt back together again.
After a long night, they came to an agreement:
Mary could keep the little buggers in the spare room, and adopt them!
"Whey-hey!", Mr Slagg rejoiced, "That's sorted! Now orf to Jaywick-on-Sea for a week's holiday!" (With the tortoise)!
Have a great summer holiday! Look out for us in September!
