At Home with The Slaggs - Part Five

Mr Slagg immediately jumps into action:

 "Unhand her!  You....you aliens!!!"

 But the mutt and the tortoise were too slick for them.  Tortoise went straight for the foot, and the mutt went straight for the nether regions.
"That fuckin' hurt !", one of the aliens muttered. 

 "Fuck off, earthling!" Raymond confronted Mr Slagg, "It's too late.  Mrs Slagg is bound for a debauched existence on the Plant Bang!"






Mr Slagg then poked Raymond in the eye.  Who subsequently ran off, exclaiming that he was getting his mum up here! 

 "Oh thank God, Tarantella.  I've just saved you from being transported to the Planet Bang!  Once there, you would have had to have endured constant and kinky sex!"

Mrs Slagg, although admiring Mr Slagg's bravery, secretly wished he'd had minded his own business.  

 "Well, we're back together now, my dear.  Tell me, was Raymond a better lover than me?"

"No, Charlie," Mrs Slagg lied.




"Not only that," Mr Slagg continued, "But we have gained two lovely pets.  A complete family at last.  No more of this talk of adopting kids, eh?"

 Mrs Slagg simply sighed, and said:
"Okay, Charlie.  Now when are we setting this wedding date....?"

"Ah, I must be off now...."

 "Bastard!", cried Mrs Slagg.

Well, look's like it's back to normal for The Slaggs.  Things could so easily have been different!  

You may now touch that dial!!  Only until the Christmas Special gets made, I mean aired.  

 

The Slaggs Part Four

Upon hearing this terrible news, Mr Slagg runs to his former paramour, his heart pounding:

 "Tarantella," he panted, "If it's marriage you want, then we'll go to the register office now.  The "mutt" can be our witness!"

 "Oh bless your heart, Charlie!  I'm going to be a bride anyway.  I've just accepted Raymond's proposal - he made it just after our morning bath - titter!!"

Mr Slagg shuddered!  
He was grateful the tortoise had been with him, and not been able to witness such filth!






 

 

Just in time, he regained his senses.  

"Tarantella!  Listen to me!  You are in great danger!  Raymond is not all he seems!"

"Oh  you jealous old fool!"

"Please believe me!  It's a trap!"

"Sod off, Charlie!"

 

 "Yeah!  Bugger off, earthling!  I mean, Slagg!"
Raymond put the boot in.  

So that, as they say, was that.  

Mr Slagg took comfort with the brassy lady, and moved in with her for a while.  But she was a cold type, and her table was bare.

Then suddenly:

He heard an urgent and familiar cry:

It was Mrs Slagg in distress!








"Oh help, Charlie!  Help!"

Oh no!  Is this it for Mrs Slagg?  Should she have heeded Mr Slagg's warning?

Will Mr Slagg be able to rescue his former love from a life of debauched sexual activity on the planet Bang?  Or will he miss the number 11 bus, and it would be all too late?  

Tune in same time, same channel for the next gripping episode.  

Don't touch that dial!!!