PART THREE

Unable to face the world, our hero takes to his bed........

 

 Or rather, Mary's bed, who had no sympathy for her lovelorn father:

"Get out of my bed, Pops!  How can I bring a bloke back 'ere and get pregnant if you're lying there like some leaden lump?! "

Then Mary softens:  "Look, you pissed on your chips, but its not the end of the world.  Get your arse back out there!  And take your fuckin' tortoise with you!"

 So Mr Slagg and the tortoise go out for a lonely stroll.  Mary was quite wrong, it was the end of the world!

" 'ad about!", our hero said to the tortoise, "there's that funny looking (and familiar) mutt of Raymond's!"

"Woof!", barked the "mutt"
"Woof!  Woof!  Woof!"

"What's that?", said Mr Slagg, "You've been cast out by Raymond because you don't agree with his evil plans for Mrs Slagg??"

"Woof!  Woof!"

"What's that?  Keep an eye on Raymond, because he means harm!"

"Woof!  Woof!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'll go and get a plastic bag!"

So though it broke Mr Slagg's poor heart, at the crack of dawn, he spied on his former house cum love-nest.

Presently, his patience was rewarded.  The creepy Raymond finally emerged.

So our hero followed the young scoundrel

But who were these sinister looking creatures Raymond has met up with?  The ones he seems to look upon as his friends......?

"Blah blah blah", was all Mr Slagg could hear...
"Blah blah blah Mrs Slagg's up for it......"

Whatever could it all mean?  

That evening, he meets Raymond's mutt up in the attic as arranged.  
"Woof! Woof! Woof!", explains the canine creature.
"Oh my God!", Mr Slagg exclaims with horror, "Do you mean they're extra terrestials?!  And they mean to use Mrs Slagg for relentless and kinky sex?!"
"Woof!", said the now stray dog
"And they intend to take her to the Planet Bang?!"

"Woof!"

 "Aaargh!!!"

Can Mr Slagg rescue his paramour from a debauched fate?  Or will she be up in that spaceship being entertained by those cute little aliens????

Tune  in same time, same channel to see if Mr Slagg (and the mutt) can pull it off?  

Don't touch that dial!!!