Our hero is trying to win back Mrs Slagg...
"Look at this sumptuous meal I've prepared! Tarantella will be putty in my hands once I light those candles! Will take her mind off that wally, Raymond once and for all!"
"I'll just toddle down and wait for her to finish her shift at the Amanda-Ann's"
But, upon arrival....
"Oh no, Charlie! That won't do at all! Raymond is taking me to La Gavroche, and then (she giggles sickingly) we're going to look at my picture of Audrey Hepburn" (that's in the bedroom).
"Noooo!", Mr Slagg thundered, "Not Audrey! Only we look at Audrey!"
Mrs Slagg ushered him outside...
"Don't you dare talk to me like that, Charlie!"
"But Audrey (and what follows) belongs to us!"
"Not anymore, Charlie. I've moved on!"
The thought of those two sharing pleasure at the iconic copy of Audrey Hepburn, something that was so exclusively theirs, along with other bedtime fun, filled Mr Slagg with agony.
But he wasn't giving up! He would win back Mrs Slagg's heart if it was the last thing he did!!!
Will Mr Slagg ever reunite with Mrs Slagg? Or has he really blown it this time?
Is Mrs Slagg really serious about the creepy Raymond? (I mean, he does look a bit on the dodgy side)
Tune in same time, same channel.....
Don't touch that dial.........
...to the further adventures of......
The Slaggs!!!
"Well, I'm in the doghouse. The Bog anyway..."
"Good Lord! It had meant nothing!"
"A mere flirtation. (In the bedroom)
Tarantella (back early from giving Bella, the scrubber, a smacking), her voice like the crack of a whip!"
"What the hell's going on, Charlie?!"
"I tried to reason with Tarantella, that that brassy woman meant nothing to me, and look, she's run straight into the arms of Lord Posh..."
(Between me and you, I suspect she's frigid!)
"But it was to no avail, I've got to sleep on the sofa - bah!!"
"She's too sensitive, you see. But so devoted:
Ah, sod this! The bath's not much more comfortable! I'll go and apologise to the gal!"
"Then it'll be steak pud and an early night!! Tee hee!!"
"But what's this........!"
"Oh Charlie, I'd like you to meet Raymond. He's going to stay for a while. So if you'd like to get your bags..."
"Whaat....!
And where is that mangy mutt going to sleep....??"
"I'll get her back. I swear I'll get her back. After all, tomorrow is another day."
Is this really curtains for the Slaggs as a couple? Has Mrs Slagg really grown tired of Mr Slagg's dalliances? Or will she give him another chance? After that Raymond looks a bit dodgy....
Tune in same time, same channel....
Don't touch that dial!!!!
