At Home With The Slaggs Part Five

Meanwhile, Poshie and Running River were very much an Item

 - Or were they?

Lord Posh dressed his new Gal with every finery, and he was hearing wedding bells 

 But all Running River seemed to hear were messages of running hooves from her sister-in-law back at the settlement..  Poshie sighed:
couldn't she use a fucking phone like everyone else?  He'd bought her the i-phone 5 for Lands sake!

 So one morning, when Mr Slagg left the house to do his son's gardening, he saw Running River waiting for him.  
With the current state of things indoors, she was the last person he wanted to see.  He didn't need any reminders of their embarassing fumble.  

"Please, Charlie, me need um help." She fought back tears.  
Mr Slagg was unmoved:
"Not bloody likely!  And besides you're about to be Lady of the Manor, aren't you?"

 "No, Charlie.  Sister-in-law drummed me last night.  New Chief now.  He got umm four wheel drive and plasma TV screen.  In with um chance.  Before other squaw get claws in."

 Despite his gloomy state of mind, Mr Slagg had to chuckle:
"Oh come, my dear.  You can't throw away everything for such shallow reasons.  Anyway, Lord Posh has a range rover, and I'm sure he'll upgrade that black and white television set for you."

 "Sister in law also say, new Chief hung like a horse!"
"Let's go and mend that canoe", Mr Slagg sighed, "But you'll have to hide for a while.  Can't have Mrs Slagg seeing you."

But it was too late:

 "And Who might this be?" Mrs Slagg demanded.
"Lumme!", said Mr Slagg

How will Mr Slagg and Running River explain their way out of this?  Will Running River get back across the Atlantic?  And will Mr Slagg avoid a cuff round the ear?  

 Tune in, same time, same channel!

Don't touch that dial!!!!