At Home with The Slaggs part four

Mrs Slagg entered in the nick of time:

"Why, Charlie, what are you doing with little Raymond?  Look how upset he is!"

Raymond looked cute and angelic as Mrs Slagg put him in his pram.  

"Now you take him out, Charlie.  The zoo would be nice."

This gave Mr Slagg an idea:

He drudged the "child" to their local zoo.  

He turned to the two monkeys hovering beside him:

"Oi, you two!  You'd like a child to bring up, wouldn't you?  Like Tarzan and that? You can 'ave this one!"

"No!  Fuck off!"
They retorted, as they swung across the railings.

Mr Slagg, somewhat foolishly, entered the lion's den.

"Oi, are you hungry?  I've got a kid 'ere you could rip apart!  Or adopt 'im.  Don't care either way!"

"You'll have to ask our Dad.  'ere he comes now!"

"No!", Dad roared, "Fuck off!"

Mr Slagg legged it, and was despondent, until:

"Yay!  A bus!  One of Boris Johnson's new ones.  I could leave the little bugger on there.  Father's do it all the time."

Mr Slagg did just that, but as he smugly entered the house:

"Oh hello, Charlie.  A nice bus driver dropped our baby home.  "His eyes!"  he kept saying, 
I told him, he has his father's eyes, and he ran off screaming!  Why?"

"Rats cocks!"

Will Mr Slagg ever rid his home of this evil child? 

Or will he have to suffer those eyes for all eternity?



Tune in, same time, same channel for the next gripping instalment.

Don't touch that dial!!!